I was talking to a friend the other day about how both of us have days where we feel like “less than perfect” wives and mothers. All of you reading this are shaking your heads because you know exactly what I'm talking about...been there...done that, we ALL have those days!
For some reason (I am beginning to think it is genetic) women strive to attain unattainable perfection and have such high personal expectations, that we constantly beat ourselves up for “failing”. We look at the women around us, in magazines and on television and say “I must be a failure because I’m not like Susan or Jill or that actress with the 5 nannies or the mom who gets up at 4 am to head to the gym”. We consider ourselves failures because our children aren’t perfectly coifed each and every day like so & so’s kids…you get my point.
Newsflash…there is NO such thing as perfection….PERIOD…end of discussion! As for all those lofty ridiculous expectations we burden our lives with…LET ‘EM GO! Once you kick ‘em to the curb, you will start to see your life and yourself in a whole new light. It is the mistakes, screw-ups, mismatched outfits, lack of showering and messy houses that make life so interesting…it is what makes memories.
My husband is lucky to see me showered and dressed in something other than workout clothes more than a couple times a week. No matter how hard I try pulling it all together, I still end up in workout clothes and no make-up. I used to have terrible guilt about not “dressing up” (I use that term loosely) and being coiffed by the time Chris got home. One night I finally asked him if it bothered him. He laughed and told me “No, don’t be silly…you are a busy mother to three…I don’t care what you look like when I get home…I love you just the way you are”. I needed to hear those words…knowing that my husband wasn’t judging my “wife skills” based on whether I showered that day or not took the pressure off and I quit beating myself up about it. I still make an effort to shower, put make up and look presentable…but I don’t kick myself if I I can’t make it happen some days.
My kids still laugh when they share the story about the morning I overslept, woke up at 7:45 in a panic and raced around trying to get everyone out the door to school…in my rushing around I forgot to pack a lunch for one kid and sent the other two with the wrong lunchbox! I felt like a complete failure that morning…my kids on the other hand thought I was a rock star for letting them go to school late! That story gets funnier every time the kids bring it up and it also reminds me that no one is perfect (including me) and in the grand scheme of things, who cares?! The world didn’t end, my kids still got to school and now we have a funny story to share together.
At the end of the day, when I am tucking my kids into bed all the less than perfect moments of my day fade with hugs and kisses, storybooks and “I love you mommy…to the moon and back”…those simple actions and words let me know I must be doing something right.
Until next time…have a blessed and beautiful day,
Rox
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