While trying to get the house put back together post Christmas...cleaning out the closets...tons of laundry...packing away another year's worth of memories...I thought of a former friend...my best friend from high school. We celebrated all of life's milestones together. We were in each other's weddings...cried over seeing two blue lines...hugged and laughed like school girls each time we got together. Somewhere along the way, we changed...I grew up and she did not. Our goals and values became so different that our relationship turned toxic. While I fretted about what classical music is best for a 2 year-old..she was getting boob jobs, traveling the globe (while her child stayed home with daddy), the stories go on and on... blah...blah...blah. She became so focused on the material things that she lost sight of what is truly important in life...family and friends. Instead of being excited about her trips to Houston, I became nauseated. I became consumed with not being inferior to her. After all, I was merely a wife and stay at home mommy with a BSN degree collecting dust at the back of the closet. My husband actually started planning out of town trips during her visits, because he hated what her presence did to me. My dearest, sweetest friend with whom I shared life's deepest secrets had turned into a person I barely knew and with a heavy heart I did what needed to be done...I ended the relationship. It was way over due...our friendship had passed its expiration date. I am a much healthier person without her in my life and know I did the right thing when I chose to say no more. Wouldn't it be nice if we could see a persons expiration date??? Seriously, we would know exactly how long a person would be "value add" to our lives and when it is time to walk away. I learned alot about myself thru the 20+ years of in this friendship. I wish I could say the same for her. Moral of this story...never lose sight of what is truly important in this world!
God Bless!
rox
Roxanne - I understand completely. It is difficult to let something like that go, but you are right and some things should not be forced. I seriously believe that the core person does not change but our different experiences place us on different paths. I agree, always be true to yourself - the key is knowing who you really are. Thanks for sharing your story :)
ReplyDeleteRoxanne thanks for sharing. It is a reminder that letting go of some things is more healthy. You have encouraged me. Roxanne even one of my sons (49) is loving your site and just you for who you are! I am sorry I did not get to know you better when Chris' Uncle Butch was alive. You are a gem. Gigi bragged about you all the time.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend just like that. Friends since we were 2! I see her occasionally, but I really don't like to be around her. It involves talking bad about others, and how much expensive stuff she has. Who cares, right?
ReplyDeleteLife is better without the toxic people!
Michelle