Monday, March 8, 2010

Running For My Life

As many of you know, I have a new passion....running! I just ran my first 5K race and am looking forward to my next one in May. I have my sights set on the Houston 2011 Marathon. I have NEVER been a runner, nor did I ever have any desire to run...until recently. The last year or so, I have been living with anger...anger over things that really do not, at the end of the day, mean anything at all. I seldom get angry over my childhood, but with the looming anniversary of my birth father's death, the angrier I became. I found myself getting irritated over the pettiest things/people. Again, totally out of character for me. Insecurity started rearing it's ugly head and whispering in my ear. Holy crap, I was a train wreck waiting to happen....until God spoke to me. I woke up one morning with the words "today is the day Roxanne...today you will run". Really, I asked God? Never one to argue with Him, I laced up my tennis shoes, grabbed the i-pod and hit the pavement in the hood. I ran for 30 minutes and He said to me "you are done today...go home and get your affairs in order". Same thing the next day...I woke up knowing I must run and I have every day since. I also ride my life cycle on the days weather/kids/life-in-general interfere. I now run or ride at least an hour daily...have completely changed my eating habits and the best part of all of this....the anger is gone...with every minute I am running...God is there, reminding me to "just let it go"! I have such clarity, peace and contentment... a serenity that until recently was missing. I am almost ashamed that I let my childhood, the petty, gossip/rumor mongers & insecurity monsters break my spirit. Who really cares what other people say about me or my life? Who cares that my birth parents were less than stellar parents? Who cares..... at the end of the day, I am still married to my best friend & soul mate...at the end of the day, I am still blessed and in awe that I am mom to Harrison, Tori and Emily, my three beautiful gifts from God...at the end of the day, I am still the friend that will be there for my true friends whenever they need me most...at the end of the day, I am still running for my life and I couldn't be any happier about it!!!!

Have a blessed and beautiful day.

love,
rox

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